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Discordia Begins; I promise this is not a glorified 1x1
Topic Started: Apr 3 2017, 12:04 PM (429 Views)
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The Seinfeld Theme Song plays.

Azusa Nakano is sitting outside in front of a restraunt that serves a food that is common in Discordia, Hexapus Sushi. Azusa was eating none other than the restraunt's specialty.

The food was definitely good, but Azusa felt kind of alone. It was a feeling she was all too familiar with, and, since entering high school, she disliked it.

It was a pretty nice day out too.

Suddenly, something came around the sidewalk and Azusa felt herself being carried.

Azusa had never felt this scared in her life.

Azusa's kidnapper smiled and said, in a surprisingly yet unsurprisingly deep voice for a tall girl, "Hi! I'm Ruko, and I was looking for people my age to hang out with!"

Azusa was in even more shock. Not that she was mistaken for a child, it was something that she honestly has to expect, being the petite one she is, but that this one here is a child.

"Sorry, Miss Ruko, but I'm older than you think," said Azusa. "...I'm actually seventeen."

Ruko seemed a bit hurt by being called a "miss" but quickly hid his pain. "Ah. I'm only twelve."

Azusa was even more surprised. "Well..." Azusa wasn't necessarily opposed to being friends with someone younger, even if they looked older, but Azusa was a bit worried about taking advantage of the kid.

...then after taking a closer look at Ruko, Azusa concluded that Ruko probably is just pretending to be a child, and is more likely to be her age, and Ruko doesn't seem to be buying that she really was seventeen.

"Okay, but don't ask me to do anything too weird," Azusa replied.

"Like what?" Ruko asked.

Azusa sighed. "Anyways, can you put me down, I can't say I enjoy being carried."

Ruko then set Azusa down. "Let's go to my house!" he said.

After some looking around, Ruko announces, "We're lost!"

Azusa sighed. "Do you know anyone that can come get us?"

"Old lady 95!" Ruko shouted. She then dialed her smartphone and called the person in question.

Windows 95 was tidying up her house. She was usually very clean herself, but things accumulate dust over time. She then heard her landline phone ring.

Windows 95 went over and answered it. "Hello? This is Winodws 95."

"Baba!" Ruko cheered from the other line. "I met this girl and now we're lost."

"Ruko... what did I say about talking to strangers?" Windows 95 replied.

"But I found this stranger that looked to be my age," said Ruko. "...she's actually 17. I think she might benefit from your serv-"

"I don't use my abilities except on people who ask, Ruko," replied Windows 95. "Besides, you can't just go around looking for-"

"This girl seems nice though! Her name is..."

Ruko looked at Azusa and asked, "...what's your name?"

"Azusa Nakano," Azusa replied.

"Azusa Nakano!" Ruko replied happily.

"And where are you?" 95-tan asked.

"Nowhere Street," replied Ruko.

"I'll be right there," said 95-tan.

"Nowhere Street?" asked Azusa in disbelief. "Are you kidding me?"

Ruko pointed at a street sign. "Nope."

And true to his word, the street sign did indeed say "NOWHERE ST."

Mirsha and Derlyn were on a motorcycle. They stopped when they saw Ruko.

Derlyn grinned at Ruko, and said, "Hey, Ruko! Who's that kid?"

"Azusa!" Ruko replied. "I think she's new here!"

Azusa would have objected, but before she could act, knew it was true. She doesn't even know how she got here, even.

The two then parked their motorcycle. Both Mirsha and Derlyn went up to Azusa. The former went, "Aww..." upon seeing Azusa. "She's cute. Where'd you find her?"

"In front of Hexapus Sushi," replied Ruko.

Mirsha laughed. "So she did..."

Down the street, the four of them could hear loud screaming.

Mirsha and Derlyn quickly hopped on their motorcycle, and sped off. A steamroller also sped by.

Even Ruko was afraid. Azusa, concerned, asked "What should I be more concerned about? Steamrollers being street legal, or the screaming?"

"The screaming by far," said Ruko. "It means Elbin Towse is coming!"

"Who?" Azusa asked. She got no reply.

7.5-tan stopped the steamroller when she could no longer hear Elbin Towse's screaming. She found herself in front of her Sunbucks Café. She decided to enter it.
Edited by VolareVia, Apr 17 2017, 06:30 PM.
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A second steamroller pulled up, driven by a small blue Grundo. He was having an animated, one-sided conversation with his sleeping passenger, but grew silent when he heard the scream.

The steamroller slowed to a stop, and the Grundo looked around until he spotted Ruko and Azusa.

"Did...I hit someone?" he called, drumming the steering wheel nervously.
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"Zenor!" Ruko shouted out at the Grundos. "Elbin Towse is coming!"

Azusa looked at the streamroller in confusion. "Since when were those street legal?"

"Since before you got here," Ruko retorted. He then looked at Zenor and said, "Don't mind her, she's new." She got a good look at Zenor's steamroller, and got an idea. "Can we get on your steamroller? We're waiting for old lady 95, but she's taking her sweet time. Not unusual of her, but still..."

"What about Elbin Towse?" Azusa asked. "You cannot be telling me that we are actually going to put an old woman at-"

"95-tan is probably one of the most powerful people in this city," interrupted Ruko. "Elbin Towse might be a challenge, but 95-tan is a far more competent fighter than we are. Besides, she can easily get back here"

Azusa sighed.

Suddenly, 95-tan, who is on a motorcycle, appeared on top of Zenor's steamroller. Annoyed, she yelled, "7.5! This isn't funny! I'm here to pick some people up!"

"That's not 7.5, baba-sama," Ruko replied. "It's Zenor and his friend."

"Okay," 95-tan said, not really knowing what Ruko was talking about.

"See Azusa, we don't have to sacrifice an old woman to Elbin Towse," Ruko said, smiling at his companion.

"You are saying that as if I suggested it," Azusa said.

Ruko looked at the steamroller and said, "Well, looks like I'm going to have to get in, or get up." He and Azusa got closer to the steamroller. "I'd happily just climb up there and get with my ride, but I wanted to take this kid along with us, and it'd be difficult to get her with my ride."

"Ruko, I told you earlier, I am seventeen years old," Azusa tried to gently remind Ruko.

Ruko sighed as he began to climb the steamroller before anyone could object. "Seventeen... maybe twelve... what's the difference?"

((Even though Ruko is fairly tall, I'm sure he'd still need to climb the smaller roadroller to get on top.))
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Zenor sighed at the news of Elbin Towse's arrival.

"Of course he's here while we're on vacation," he muttered. "Well, we'll help anyway we can. Climb on in!"

At the sound of the motorcycle hitting the roof, the orange Grundo in the passenger seat woke with a start.

"Dude," he grumbled, turning to Zenor. "Did you hit someone?"

"Not this time," Zenor replied, grinning. "But we do have company. Ruko's here, with his friend...Asuza, right?

"This is Qlydae," he added, nodding to his orange companion.

"Hi," Qlydae added with a yawn. "Sorry. It's been a long day, and I just had a nightmare about Elbin Towse."

"We're all having a nightmare about Towse," Zenor explained. "He's here, dude."

Qlydae groaned. "Seriously?"

"Yeah, but it's fine, we're taking care of it." Zenor looked up at 95 on her motorcycle. "Um...am I driving everyone?"

((Working till 8))
Edited by DuchessofStars, Apr 9 2017, 05:34 PM.
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Azusa nodded when Zenor misspoke her name. "Azusa. Nakano Azusa." She then looked up at 95 on her motorcycle as Ruko got on it. To Azusa, 95-tan looked like someone she had seen somewhere before. Not exactly trustworthy, though.

"I'll take Ruko back to my place," said Windows 95. "Azusa as well, if she pleases."

For the sake of a more engaging post, Azusa said, "I think I am going to go with these here ...Aliens? Something tells me they have answers to my questions." She got into the steamroller.

"Suit yourself," 95-tan replied. As Elbin Towse's screams got louder, she and Ruko were gone, and the motorcycle on top of the steamroller was somewhere else.

"What is this place?" asked Azusa, very confused. "Is this itself a dream?" She looked behind them, and she could see a screaming Faerie Tuskaninny gaining up on them. "Also, I'm assuming that's Elbin Towse?" she asked, pointing at the screaming being behind them.

((Have fun. xD))
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"Oh, it's Azusa," Zenor muttered, mostly to himself and not to his mun who can't spell. "Sorry."

"Um, we're called Grundos, but I guess you could say we're aliens...we are from a moon," Qlydae observed. He gave Azusa a playful smile. "But that means you're an alien to us, too."

"There are some perks to being with fellow aliens," Zenor chimed in. "Like getting answers to some questions."

He waved at 95-tan and Ruko as they disappeared.

"We're...actually not entirely sure what this place is," Qlydae admitted. "We found it last year and I guess Zenor thought it would be a good stop on our vacation. It's not our world...but it has some of the same elements, some of the same people..."

"It even has a moon," Zenor added. "But it's not our moon. It's completely empty, which is really creepy."

Qlydae looked up at the incoming Tuskaninny. "That's...that's definitely Elbin Towse," he confirmed, turning to Zenor. "Should we leave, or...?"

Zenor swore under his breath, fumbling with the keys. He stopped.

"You know what? No," he said angrily, turning to face the noise. "Screw this. I want to know what his problem is."

He bit his lip before quickly adding, "Also...this thing only goes maybe ten miles per hour."

"Um...okay then," Qlydae said, glancing nervously at Azusa. "So, what's your preference? Fight or flight? Or talk. Maybe he just wants to talk...loudly."

((I tried to. It didn't work. x3))
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"It depends on what you mean by 'fight'," Azusa admitted. "I don't usually like to fight either verbally or physically. I have never been in a physical fight, but I have argued."

Elbin Towse caught up to the steamroller. "I HOPE YOU ENJOY LOOSING YOUR STREET ILLEGAL VEHICLE!"

"It isn't street legal?" Azusa muttered to herself. Elbin Towse then started to attack the steamroller with a knife. Azusa looked down. "Uh... he has a knife... and he's using it on the steamroller? A yellow seal is stabbing a steamroller on a road. I wish this was the most nonsensical thing I've seen today, even accounting for the fact that I'm watching from said steamroller."
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"Looks like you're in luck," Qlydae replied quietly. "'Cause I think he wants to fight the steamroller."

"Hey! This is a rental, you jerk!" Zenor bellowed at Towse. "I have to return it!"

Qlydae looked down at Towse and his knife, then back to Azusa. "Sounds about right," He replied. "As long as he's distracted, I guess..."

Zenor was now trying to drive away, but the steamroller was painfully slow. He turned to Qlydae.

"Do your spark thing," he urged.

"My spark thing?" Qlydae repeated incredulously. "The one I can't do on command anymore? That one?"

Zenor looked thoughtful for a moment. "What do you call a Koi with one eye?"


"A 'Koi', get it?" The corner of Qlydae's mouth twitched, but he kept a straight face. Zenor tried again.

"What did the muffin say to the other muffin?"


"'Ahhh! A talking muffin!'" Zenor finished, waving both arms for effect. The steamroller began to deviate from its path, but he grabbed the steering wheel and turned to Azusa.

"Quick! I need another bad joke!"
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Azusa couldn't help but smile at the bad jokes herself . "...uh..." Azusa paused. "Qlydae... what did the red light say to the green light?"

Elbin Towse was able to catch up to the steamroller with relative ease, and continued to stab the steamroller. "WHERE DID YOU GET THIS PIECE OF JUNK?" he wondered.
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Qlydae tapped his finger on his knee, trying to resist Azusa's joke. He failed.

"...What did it say?" he asked cautiously.

Zenor glared at Elbin Towse out of the corner of his eye before reaching into the back seat, grabbing a broom, and swinging at the Faerie Tuskanniny.

"Leave. Us. Alone. You. Megaphone-swallowing. Demon," he snarled, punctuating each word with a swing.

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"Don't look, I'm changing!" Azusa answered, grinning.

"ANSWER MY QUESTION THEN YOU ASSHOLE!" Elbin Towse yelled. Due to Zenor's broom-swinging, while he was still capable of catching up, he stopped stabbing the steamroller.
Edited by VolareVia, Apr 10 2017, 02:24 PM.
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Qlydae snorted, and a few sparks fell from his fingers. He didn't seem to notice.

"Okay, that was good," He admitted, still chuckling. "But tell me this: Why does it take a pirate so long to learn the alphabet?"

Zenor blinked at Elbin Towse and began to swing less.

"I rented it down the street, at Enterprise," he explained slowly, throwing in two more swings for good measure. "Asshole."
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"Why is that?" wondered Azusa, smiling.

"WHY WOULD THEY HAVE A STEAMROLLER FOR RENT?" Elbin screamed as he got hit by one of the swings. He quickly caught back up, and then started to stab the poor steamroller again.
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"Because they were out of tanks!" Zenor yelled back, swatting furiously at Towse's knife. "Why do you even care?!"

Qlydae paused and bit his lip, but he managed to deliver the punchline.

"Because...because they spend years at 'C'," he finished, before losing his composure and dissolving into laughter.

As he laughed, more sparks shot out of his palms, pouring over the steamroller's dashboard. The engine started to sputter, but he didn't seem to notice, and Zenor was busy dealing with Elbin Towse.
Edited by DuchessofStars, Apr 10 2017, 11:59 PM.
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Azusa laughed at Qlydae's joke. "That was good."

Elbin Towse simply made an :awesomeface: face and was promptly sued threw his knife towards the passenger seat.

((That convinced my lazy self to add the awesomeface emoticon from JNF. xD))
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